I have started this post a couple times and I still haven’t come up with the right words. I just don’t understand why it is such a problem welding two families into one. Shouldn’t it be easy? If AJ and I get along, why wouldn’t we get along with the other’s family?
I have already mentioned the problems that I sometimes have with AJ’s family. Now, to be fair, AJ has problems with my family too. Mainly, that we are too close, too nosy, and too judgemental sometimes. That’s cool… no one is going to like everything. I mean, I have problems with AJ, too! But now things are getting stormy on the front and I just don’t know what to do. AJ is hurt, angry, and sad. I don’t know what to do for hiim to make him feel better, or to make the situation better. His sister called last night and left a nasty message, basically saying that AJ never helps them out and that he seems to be “in the ass” (and I am quoting directly here) or both me and my family. First of all, I think it is okay for AJ and I to be “up each other’s asses”. We are trying to start our own family together, we are getting married, and we are best friends, so why wouldn’t we be? As far as my family goes, yes, they helped a lot when AJ was in jail and we were going through all this stuff. But guess what– no one said that his family couldn’t try and help either. Even if it wasn’t monitarily, they could have offered support in any number of different ways… but they didn’t. AJ was really hurt about that, too.
So now I am in a really bad position. I am really angry at his sister, because she hurt him, and anyone that hurts him is not okay with me. But I can’t just go spouting off, because no matter what she is still his sister, and I don’t want to say anything that I may regret later. I just hate watching him get taken advantage of. I hate watching him second guess himself, wondering does he do enough? Is he there for his family? AJ is the most caring, kind, and thoughtful person I have ever met, and he is there whenever anyone needs him, including his sister. In fact, last night she drove into her parking lot, stopped on the brakes that HE installed, turned off the radio and speakers that he also installed, sat down on the couch that he moved into her apartment, watched the TV that he hooked up that sits on the entertainment center that he put together, and maybe looked at the picture on the wall that he hung up.
And the cause of all this? Because for once, he had other plans when she called him and needed him to do her a favor. And the reason my name got brought into it? Because before me, he would have been right there no matter what, but I will not let him be taken advantage of. People have other things to do!!
I am just so mad and disillusioned. I guess I thought we would all just melt into one big happy family, and obviously that was just naive of me. I love them like I love my own family, but apparently there is still “us” and “them”. Where does that leave AJ and I? I don’t want to take sides, and I don’t want to cause any conflict, but I also don’t want him to get hurt more than he already is.
Any suggestions???
